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Two Weeks Without Warcraft

I'm now, as of this evening, in a hotel, far far from home, with a tiny laptop, running Xandros Linux. No possibility of playing WoW. I hope the guild doesn't miss me too much. Luckily, the hotel has wireless, and the laptop is behaving itself,

I am able to blog, and get email. It's not a total disaster.

New Guild Website

Hello everyone!

I just purchased the domain name UltimaGuild.com. It's not anything yet, but it will be! Let me know what you want to see on the site.. What sort of functionality, etc. Like a wiki for instance quest finding, a talent calculator, etc. Thanks!


Guild Meeting Recap

From Pig and Whistle Tavern

We actually had a %100 turnout of online members who came to the meeting.   It seems that meeting on a disjointed piece of landscape hovering 600 feet above the hostile Clefthoof herds of Nagrand draws some interest.  

In attendance:

Guild Leader Rarius
Co-Guild Leader Kajirae
Officer Marokaen
Officer Pershing
Officer Valper

Abstaining due to impending server transfer, Xaxiol

Discussion hovered largely around our bumper crop of new level 70s and how to start getting the guild raid-ready.  

Pershing led the charge on this and has suggested a blend of heroics and PvP.   Fridays will be a lower-attendance day for many people, and so they are now slated to be PvP focused.   Saturdays will be for running a single Heroic, picked out by Pershing who will be using his research to find level-appropriate dungeons.   be.imba.hu is an at-a-glance website for level 70s to gauge their raid-worthiness.  As of today many of our members could do well in heroics.  

For our new 70s with crafting professions who would like to make raid-level gear for themselves, we will aid them in gathering mats (by purchasing for them mats, by dispensing stored mats from alts dedicated as repositories, or by going with them to the source and farming mats as a team).   Master Rarius currently holds three alts for the storage of cloth:  Linencloset, Silkweaver and Zeeper (linen and wool, silk and mageweave, runecloth and netherweave).  If you wish to donate cloth for the future use of young triage or tailors, you are welcome to send mats there.  

New 70s without crafting professions may wish to consider PvP with Pershing as their source for raid appropriate gear.  

An alternative method for guild funding was brought up in the form of %100 income tax for members, with the supporting argument being the non-neccesity of pocket money if the guild is funding mounts, gear, enchants and repairs.  This idea has been shelved as currently impractical, but may be revisted in the future if a method presents itself of properly regulating funds.   Our current guild-money system is "please don't donate, but if you do, there is a tier system for repair allowance to draw from."

Valper, with the probably highly-conflicting direction of the rest of the guild cadre, will begin plotting a guild website.  Upon which we will have stuff.  We haven't really planned what we want on it, but it will have some of the old stuff.  And most stuff.   Because.   

This journal is to be used more often, by more members, to post about whatever they wish.  If you have a list of things you need help with , please fee free to USE this space to record your needs, so that most people are aware of them.  We have generous people in this guild, but they can't send you Twill if we don't know you're looking for it.  

During the meeting Assianas threw herself off the floating rock.  He died.  Twice.

At the end of the meeting, Valper threw himself off, too, but he was too evil to die.  

A couple of hours later, Chrisulloa came online and was a bit confused about it all.   We told him we talked about him the whole time.  I guess he'll figure out that we lied, now.



Zul'Farrak Quest List

Zul'Farrak is only remaining stronghold of the Sandfury tribe of Trolls.   Rumoured to be of either jungle troll descent, or straight from the great race of Zandalarian Trolls, their purpose in remaining in the harsh land of Tanaris is unclear.  It may have to do with their worship of the great hydra Gahz'rilla, or to actually guard the world* against the insectoid race of the Aqir.  As they enjoy killing and then eating anyone they can, it's rather hard to ask them about this.
As a dungeon, it is limited to a 5-man, and the meeting stone outside may be used by players levels 42-49.   It is currently the only dungeon that is considered "out doors", and you may therefore use your mounts.  It is also the only instance that is actually extant in the world map.  If you perform some illegal wall climbing, you can enter Zul'Farrak without going through the instance portal and explore its streets.   There will be no mobs, however, and it can be tricky getting out. 
*The "world" in this case being solely limited to "the parts that the Trolls claim as their own".  This is, in fact, most of the planet, as they feel that they are the only true indigenous race on Azeroth and were once the most prolific.   Don't feel too bad about killing them, though;  they would happily expand and "retake" their land if they could.   The Sandfury race is particularly blood thirsty, practicing the most violent and dark of the voodoo rites in order to maintain their power and appease their "god". 
There are seven quests available to Alliance players that are completed inside of Zul'Farrak.
Nekrum's Medallion:   This chain begins in the Hinterlands, and is part of the Alliance-only quest line known as "Saving Sharpbeak".  
How to get to this point:
In the little cave behind the Hinterland’s Wildhammer Stronghold flight path, there is a red-headed dwarf named Gryphon Master Talonaxe. He offers the quest “Witherbark Cages”, wherin you begin your search for the baby gryphon, Sharpbeak.  You’ll search The First & Second Witherbark Cages at 23, 58 in the Zun'Watha ruins, and The Third Witherbark Cage at 31, 57 in the Hiri'Watha ruins in vain.  Talonaxe will then suspect the Vilebranch trolls, and ask you to go check their sacrificial Altar of Zul at 49,68 for any signs of Sharpbeak.  When you come back empty handed again, Talonaxe sends you way out to the Blasted Lands to speak to a potentially corrupted Wildhammer dwarf there.  His name is Thadius Grimshade, a “diviner” who seems to be leaning toward the warlock side of life in his “curiousness” regarding dark magic.  He knows where Sharpbeak is, but won’t tell you until you get Nekrum’s Medallion from Zul’Farrak.  There are just three more steps after this one, and while the loot reward may be something you’ve outgrown, the nearly-cinematic ending to the quest is well worth it.
Quick facts:
Prequests: 3 (2 in Hinterlands, 1 in Blasted Lands)
Quest Shareable?: No
Credit Shareable?: Yes (everyone may loot it)
Gahz'rilla:  This is one-shot quest that originates in the Shimmering Flats, a subsection of Thousand Needles.  It is the only quest that requires a "key" of sorts to complete.
How to get to this point:
In the flat and largely uninhabited southern portion of Thousand Needles, there is the “Shimmering Flats”.  If you’ve been to Tanaris before, chances are you passed through there and noticed the Goblin and Gnome race track.  Wizzle Brassbolts is one of the race-car engineers and is known for his globe-trotting quests.   Gahz’rilla is one of them. Wizzle wants one of Gahz’rilla’s scales to power his car.    On your way from Gadgetzan to Zul’Farrak, keep an eye out for the burned wreckage of a car from the Shimmering flats, smoldering against a rock.  Engineers… phagh.
Quick facts:
Prequests: Optional, but someone in the party needs the Mallet of Zul’Farrak to summon the hydra.
Quest Shareable?: Yes, if you do not have any quests that send you to talk to Wizzle.  It’s weird.
Credit Shareable?: Yes (everyone may loot it)
Divino-Matic Rod:   This is a one-shot quest that originates in Gadgetzan, Tanaris.
How to get to this point:
Chief Engineer Bilgewhistle is a quest giver in Gadgetzan. His only concern in Zul’Farrak is the reclamation of his “Divino-Matic Rod”, purportedly stolen by Sergeant Bly, a human adventurer who went into Zul’Farrak.   As the rest of the goblin’s quests revolve around getting to the water drills out in the desert, I’m personally making the guess that the rod is used to find sources of water.   This goblin gives more quests out to the horde than alliance.  
Prequests: None
Quest Shareable?: Yes
Credit Shareable?: Yes (everyone may loot it)
Scarab Shells:  This is a one-shot quest that originates in Gadgetzan, Tanaris.
How to get to this point:
Tran’rek (Trainwreck) is a quest giver in Gadgetzan.  His enthusiastic request for you takes you into Zul’Farrak to smush scarabs and collect their shells.  You’ll find plenty in the instance, so no worries about the entire party getting what they need.   As a random piece of “oh god what have I done” trivia, the scarabs in the instance are rumored to be either the ancestors of Theka the Martyr, a boss you’ll encounter inside, or people at whom he has been pissed.   Either way, Scarab Shells is People.
Prequests: None
Quest Shareable?: Yes
Credit Shareable?: No (everyone must gather their own set)
Troll Temper:  This is a one-shot quest that originates in Gadgetzan, Tanaris.   
How to get to this point:
Trenton Lighthammer, despite the very human name, is a strange night elf blacksmith. He’ll also tell you about the scar on his face, if you let him, which is about a certain epic sword that you might just learn more of in Zul’Farrak.  If you’re lucky. “Temper” here, by the way, refers to a liquid that is applied to a metal before it is heated to a specific temperature, in an attempt to make the final product softer or harder. 
Prequests: None
Quest Shareable?: Yes
Credit Shareable?: No (everyone must gather their own set)
The Prophecy of Mosh'aru:  This chain begins in Steamwheelde Port, Tanaris.  It is part of a chain that introduces you to the remnants of the Zandalarian Trolls (a reputation-granting faction), the raid-dungeon of Zul'Gurub. 
How to get to this point:
Visit the troll Yeh’Kinya in the little port town of Tanaris (which is also a second quest hub for the zone).   He will send you to Feralas (preferably Feathermoon Stronghold) to kill a few flying-snake-like “Vale Screechers” to collect their Spirits.  He claims these are very powerful spirits and he wishes to keep that power out of the “wrong hands”.  Return to him, and he’ll send you into Zul’Farrak.  
After you complete the quest, Prospector Ironboot, the dwarf in Steamwheedle Port, will have a few revelations for you.
Prequests: 1
Quest Shareable?: No
Credit Shareable?: Yes
Tiara of the Deep:  This quest originates from Tabetha, in the Swamp of Sorrows.
How to get to this point:
Simply go out to Tabetha’s Farm in the middle of Dustwallow Marsh.  Her little farm is a micro-hub for quests, and warlocks and mages will find themselves returning to her frequently. She has a vindictive streak and wishes you to “obtain” a stolen piece of jewelry from her.  I find it interesting that while they managed to get it from Tabetha without killing her, Tabetha wishes no such peaceful resolution in return.
Prequests: Optional
Quest Shareable?: Yes
Credit Shareable?: Yes (everyone may loot it)


Meeting Recap

Please allow me to extend my thanks for all of you who came in person to the PIg and Whistle Tavern Saturday afternoon.  

In Attendance:

Guild Master Rarius
Co-Guild Leader Kajirae
Officer Marokaen

Online at the time were two members who could not make it to Stormwind, and listened via Guild Chat.

Topics Discussed:

1)  Official Support for our "Middlin'" members, levels 30-50.

Concerns that they were unable to find groups via pugging were discussed.   It was decided that an officer be appointed "Guardian of the Middlins'" and be in charge of scheduling regular and dependable instance runs on Friday afternoons.  Trizin graciously spoke up and has been officially promoted to this post.  If you or your alt fall into the 30-50 range, and need to run an instance or complete a group quest, please contact Trizin via in-game mail and your need will be added to the queue of what needs to be done on Friday.  

[Trizin is now Guardian of the Middlins, and will be scheduling group quests and instances for our level 30-50 members on Fridays]

2)  Saturday evenings (6pm-10pm EST) are now blocked-in for the 60-70 members for group quests and instances.   This is a more organic grouping than the 30-50 range and at this time has no official coordinator.  If you are leveled 60-70 and have a need for a group quest or instance, please speak out in guild chat during this time to form a group.  If the guild is to progress into being able to casually raid, we will need to grow accustomed to working as a unit in addition to a social group.  

[Level 60-70 people are expected to be "on-call" to each other between 6pm-10pm Saturdays EST for group quests and instances]

3)  The bank is holding itself well, and now has a good balance of people putting in and people taking out.   We have had no conflicts in this area.  To keep it that way, please be mindful that the guild bank is a public space and anything you put there may be taken out to be used for any purpose.   Please continue to refrain from putting grey-loot (vendor "trash") in the guild bank.  Access to bank tab 2 starts at level 60, so please limit deposits of items that are below level 60 to tab 1.   There is a new tab 3, established as a gift to officers to recognize their contribution to the guild.   

There were ideas broached regarding the restructuring of the bank so that tab 2 is materials-only and tab 1 is items-only, preventing the higher-cost items from being used for flat resale.  In the end we decided to allow these materials to continue to be freely available to all members.

[The bank is going fine.  Please remember that tab 2 is for level 60 and up items.  The new tab 3 is for officers.]


As GnomeReaper missed the meeting itself due to a scheduled event IRL, we were able to catch him on late Sunday night.    Gnomereaper has consistant.y gone out of his way to take our Littles through instances, and so in counterpart to Trizin, Gnomereaper was promoted to Guardian of the Littles.   Please contact him via guild chat or in game mail to schedule your level 10-30 instance instance needs

[Gnomereaper is now Guardian of the Littles, and will be scheduling group quests and instances for our level 10-30 members]

Event Held:

Our business portion of the meeting ran long, due to pushing it from 4 to 5pm to accomodate some IRL scheduling issues, and so our true events were postponed.  With just the cadre left (Master Rarius, Kajirae, Marokaen and Trizin) we settled for a wonderful fireworks display in the Valley of Heroes.   Several non-members paused to watch, and even static NPCs were able to enjoy a buff from the last Lucky Rocket thrown in.


Guild Meeting

Date:   Saturday, May 31st
Time:  4PM, Server Time (Eastern Standard Time)
Where:   Pig and Whistle Tavern, Old Town, Stormwind.
Dress:  Casual if possible.  

What to bring:  Bags that are as empty as you can get them. 

To be discussed:

1) Welcoming new members that have come aboard.
2) Congratulations to the exponential jump in level 70s.
3) Introducing the Guild Recommended Addons (Cartographer_QuestInfo, Auctioneer, Craftlist2)
4) Teaching use of Auctioneer's AskPrice / Craftlist2's !Gem feature.

>>Break for Cake in Trade District, move to The Park<<

5) Discussion of Schedule for Dungeons.
6) Discussion of Schedule for Dailies.

>>Travel to Westfall by Land.  Guild Activities Planned*<<

*Trying to get one cleared by a GM


Nathanos Blightcaller

 Congratulations to Ultima on our first baby step!

He&apos;s nice to his dogs.

Or "raid" on Nathanos Blightcaller was truly overkill, but getting together to work on some common goal was very fun.  It was heartening to see some of our pvp-shy and raid-shy members coming along for this.   Now that we know we can, defeating Nathanos for questing purposes can be added to the roster of "always willing to help with".   

A special thank-you goes out to brave Lifanas, who "won" the roll to die at Nathanos' hands in order to reset the mob to an available status.  (How the heck was he greyed-out when we got there, anyway?  Does he really hold grudges that long?  Sheesh)

Want the quest to go kill him?  

Well...that's a little tricky.   

It starts with  The First and the Last, and getting that quest is the tricky part.  Have you ever been in Stormwind and seen or heard the two guards by the tree call out to a player?   "That one, Malagan. I know him. Dependable, brave and trustworthy. [name] is his name." Why they do this is still a mystery.   Some people think it has to do with your level, some think it has to do with your rep, some think there is some special quest you have to do first that no one has pinned down.   Most people agree that you have to be at least levle 56.  This may have happened to you and you never noticed.

Go check with Master Matias Shaw to see.  He's at 75,59, in the SI:7 portion of the Barracks in Old Town.  Rogues and Warriors are most familiar with this area.   If he has been waiting for you, he'll give you Honor the Dead.  After you complete that (it's just a simple click-on-him-again quest), he'll offer Flint Shadowmore, a quest to talk to...Flint Shadowmore.  He's up at Chillwind camp in the Western Plaguelands, at 43, 84.  

He gives you the quest The Eastern Plagues, which is sadly a body-hunt.  Rutger (28, 79), Fredo (27, 74), Turyen (28, 74).  THey are mostly-intact skeletons laying on the ground around Nathanos Blightcaller, but they are far enough away that you may complete the quest without aggroing him.  The body closest to the house will "Discover" Blightcaller.

The Blightcaller Cometh will upset a few NPCs a great deal, but it is an easy quest to do.  You go to Highlord Bolvar Fordragon in Stormwind  to turn it in.  He immediately gives you Order Must Be Restored, which is the quest to kill Nathanos Blightcaller.  

So, check out the quests, go see if Master Shaw has been waiting for you, and do these easy prerequisites for some change, xp and reputation.  It is classified as a "raid" quest, and you DO get flagged for doing it.  Be aware.

As a matter of trivia, Mr. Nathnos can be found in his still-living form in the Old Hillsbrad instance of Caverns of Time.  

Extreme Combat Fishin'

Fishing. In World of Warcraft is something of a mini-game. Grab a fishing pole for a few copper, find a fishing trainer, cast a line into the nearest body of water, and wait. And wait... And wait... People don't like fishing. They say it's 'boring', and 'pointless'.

You're doing it wrong.

Let me introduce you to the correct way to fish in World of Warcraft. It's called "Extreme Combat Fishin'".

First, find a fishing trainer. Train fishing to "apprentice" which gives you one point in the profession. Now, if you are alliance, you will need to look for murlocs. Murloc villages are always near bodies of water. Calmly walk into the murloc village and cast your line. "Oh, but the murlocs will attack me!" you say. Yes, fight them off with your fishing pole. Fish until the murloc's respawn timer kicks in and you have to fight them again. Move around the village a bit so that you're killing murlocs as much as you're fishing.

If you're horde, you will need to look for centaurs. Centaurs tend to congregate around oasises in the Barrens. Find a spot by the lake at the center of the oasis where there are frequent centaur patrols. "Oh, but the centaurs will attack me!" you say. See above. As with the murlocs on the allance side, you should fend them off with your fishing pole.

Eventually, you're going to start looking for schools of fish, and floating wreckage along the shorelines. These are generally found in areas with lots of hostile mobs. For the Alliance, it's once again with the murlocs, this time in Wetlands, and then again west of Southshore. Remember, fend them off with your fishing pole. If you break out your REAL weapons, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. If you get tired of murlocs, head east and fish among the naga.

For the Horde, I recommend the lake surrounding the night-elf town of Astranaar in Ashenvale. Fish just out of aggro radius of the guards. For even more fun, fish there flagged for PvP. PvP fishing is greatly underrated, and a total blast if done right. If you don't like PvP, there are bears on the north side of the lake and spiders and wolves to the south.

Around about level 30, whether alliance or horde, head to Stranglethorn Vale. Fish the entire coast of the penninsula, battling basilisks, jungle trolls, raptors, naga, pirates, zombies, and the occasional sea giant. This is about the best fun you can have, and some of the most diverse extreme combat fishing in the game. Remember, if you're not taking damage while fishing YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. For extra credit, there are islands to the south and east of Stranglethorn. A small archepeligo where several pirate ships are bearthed, and a larger island inhabited by giant apes, and stealthy jaguars.

On Sundays. Stranglethorn Vale plays host to the weekly Booty Bay Fishing Extravaganza. Bring your fishing pole and fish the schools of tastyfish, which are only there between 2pm and 5pm server time. Your goal should not be to win the tournament by catching 40 fish in the shortest time (although props to you if you do), but to catch the *rare* fish that get you fishing clothes as a reward, and of course to engage in combat with the various mobs (Extra credit for flagging PvP). Continue to fish after the winner is announced. Every tastyfish you catch can be turned in for cash. Keep coming back to this, even after the combat ceases to be a challenge. It's practically free gold, and you'll look better if you're actually wearing fishing gear.

Around level 40, the sea giants on the coast of Feralas are a great source of fishing amusement. Get the quest to zap them (it's repeatable) and zap them as you fish. Bonus: If you're a gnomish engineer, bring your shrink ray. Zapped giants can be shrunk a second time, knocking them down to dwarven size. Fish and zap. Zap and fish.

There are more sea giants along the coast of Tanaris. Yeah. Sea giants. Absolutely the best fun in the game is playing a gnome and battling these behemoths to get to the fishing.

Speaking of sea giants, go kill that bully, Mok'rash who lives to the south of Baron Revilgaz's statue on Janeiro's Point. Fish off his corpse before claiming your reward from Captain Smotts.

The Eastern coast of Azshara is an overlooked gem. Again lots of hostile naga, and just getting down to the beach will probably cost you a corpse run the first time you visit. This is also some of the highest level fishing outside the expansion. Fend off naga, and hydra and sea giants and yes, the highest level murlocs in the game.

Once you hit 60 your first opportunity to fish in Outland will come in Zangarmarsh. Don't pass it up. There are naga, and hydra, and fen striders and wasps, and bog lords to fend off with only your trusty fishing pole. Locate a naga steampump, and make that your base of operations. They're all near water and surrounded by hostile mobs.

In Shattrath, seek out Seth. Seth's mom won't let him fish. Too many spiders near the lake, she says. Take his quest, battle giant spiders (no wonder Seth's mom won't let him fish!), and basilisks, and wrestle with eels until you win his fishing pole.

Endgame fishing presents two challenges. The endgame PvE fishing areas are limited, and you need to fly to get to them. Additionally, all but two of the endgame fishing locations HAVE NO COMBAT. Avoid those other places and fish in the Elemental Plateau in Nagrand, and Blackwind Lake in Skettis. In both locations you'll be fighting water elementals to get to your fish whether you want to or not. You want to! High level fish and motes of water are your reward for having stuck to combat fishing all the way to level 70.

I haven't said a whole lot about PvP fishing. Consider this extra credit: Raid an enemy capital. For Alliance, raid Undercity. For Horde, Stormwind. Fish there. The low level fish are of no real use to you, but if you manage to stay out of aggro radius of the guards, eventually the players in the enemy faction will realize you're just there to fish, and leave you alone.

The ultimate prize for a fisherman is to catch Mr. Pinchy. Mr. Pinchy grants three wishes, with a chance that one of them will give you the Furious Mr. Pinchy and you'll have to fight him. Yes, the reward for sticking to fishing is COMBAT! So, if you're going to that quiet, out of the way location where the living is good an nothing attacks you while you fish, STOP THAT! No wonder you think it's boring!

Guild Events!

Ultima Guild A little old, but everyone pictured is still in the guild.  If anyone wants a larger version, I will mail it to them.  

Left-to-right, back row:  Lifanas, Pershing, Kajirae (me), Rarius (Guild Leader), Yodi (Officer), Thedren, Squidman

Middle row:  Evasive

Front row: Marokaen (Officer)

The last official get-together we had took place to discuss some recent changes in membership and to celebrate some new guild acquisitions.  We made everyone promise to regularly rob the guild bank as well, and it seems that we've had fewer problems with the overabundance of generosity and humility that once plagued us.  Hooray!   

This guild event, by the way, ended up as featured pictures over at Wowhead.com.

The Ultima Guild is pictured enjoying our after-meeting cake on the Delicious Chocolate Cake page, and our handsome Master Rarius is the cover model for Formal White Shirt, during the same cake soiree.

- - - - - - - - - - 

Our guild has grown a bit since then, and we've gotten more and more in the way of acheivements and leveling progression.

While we have had a few informal guild-themed events since then it is time for us all to get together "in person".  We need to meet our new faces!  (For example, before the above pictured meeting, I had no idea that Lifanas was an elf!)  Let us show off our new toys, takes some Wowhead-able pictures, and go do something wholly embarassing in public.   

Over the next couple of days I'll be consulting our officers for ideas, and we'll set a date for perchance a Friday evening in the near future.  Of course, if any of you have any suggestions as to a theme/play idea/costuming/locale - anything, just let us know here or in guild chat.

See you soon.

Illidan Stormrage (aka Illidan the Betrayer), is the twin brother to Malfurion Stormrage.  Over ten-thousand years ago, these two brothers set out to defeat the Burning Legion of the fallen Titan Sargeras.  Each had his own method.  Malfurion chose the way of the druid, and followed the teachings of Cenarius.  Illidan wanted a swift and decisive victory, which he felt could only be achieved through arcane power.  As time has passed the brothers, once identical twins, became more and more different.  We followed our intrepid reporter, Mimbzie Borograve as she begged a portal to Shattrath, then traveled deep into Shadowmoon Valley, drawing aggro from the entire zone, for a one-on-one Interview with Illidan Stormrage, at the  very heart of his citadel, the "Black Temple" of Karabor.

[Editor's Note: We still have no idea how Mimbzie Borograve, who was a level 17 mage at the time, got access to the Black Temple itself.  She claims variously that she "has connections" and that "Illidan can't resist a tea party".  We've been unable to verify either of those claims.]

Mimbzie Borograve: I'd like to thank you for agreeing to speak with us today, Mr Stormrage.

Illidan Stormrage: You're welcome, Mimbzie. I appreciate this opportunity to give my side of the story. Please feel free to call me Illidan.  "Mr. Stormrage" sounds so formal.  Make yourself comfortable, and do try the scones, the staff has simply outdone themselves today.

Mimbzie: Mmmm...  ::munching on scones:: Yes, they have. Very yummy. This is quite a sumptuous spread you've put on here.  How did you come to be master of Karabor?

Illidan: When I came to Outland the planet was under the total domination of the pit lord, Magtheridon. I enlisted the aide a Lady Vashj, and her naga. Together we managed to secure the aide of Akama, and his tribe of Broken. What an army! Akama's tribe truly and honestly believed they were taking back "their" temple.  Such burning fanaticism! They were our spearhead, rushing in where angels fear to tread, you might say. As a field commander, Akama was simply phenomenal! I fully expected nearly total loss of his forces. It's why you have cannon fodder, after all. Lady Vashj and her naga formed the second wave, crushing any demon who managed to survive Akama's onslaught. Finally, at the rear was me.

Mimbzie: You?  Just you?

Illidan: At first, yes.  I positioned myself as the savior of those of Magtheradon's underlings fortunate enough to still draw breath, after Akama and Vashj.  Those who agreed to switch sides in exchange for my sparing their pathetic lives, became my new army. Those who did not served as an example to the others. In the end, Magtheridon was routed, mostly by his own forces. Pit lords are notoriously brutal, and even a demon will chafe under the yoke of too harsh a master.

Mimbzie: So you've set yourself up as a kinder, gentler overlord?

Illidan: ::laughing:: Demons do not understand kindness, Miss Borograve. I have made it clear to them that my beneficence is backed by strength, and that any place in which they might perceive weakness in me is but a trap for those foolish enough to challenge my might. They accept that the yoke is lighter under my rule because I am more supremely powerful than that near worthless Magtheridon.

Mimbzie: How do you respond to the allegations that you've strayed from your roots as a demon hunter?

Illidan: Who says that!? My brother? Tyrande? That arrogant jerk Staghelm? My job was to infiltrate the Legion and disrupt it from within. Just because Sargeras saw straight through that and coerced me into actually serving him did not put an end to that original mission. My people feel I betrayed them by insuring that magic persists on Azeroth, and by choosing a course of action which preserved my immortality at the cost of my pure elven form, by assuming a mantle of demonic power. They call me "The Betrayer", but whose plan did they turn their backs on at the first setback? They lack any confidence in me, Mimbzie. I, on the other hand, have stayed entirely true to my goals.

Mimbzie: You see yourself as a hero, then?

Illidan: I AM a hero. My cause is just. My methods are justfied given the situation. My power and confidence is unrivalled. Only small-minded fools, blinded by ignorance see me as "corrupt".  I am still a force for good. Would you like more tea?

Mimbzie: Oh, thank you.

Illidan: ::pours tea:: This is an herbal blend from the gardens here at Karabor. Not everything here was touched by the corruption of the orcish warlocks, and Magtheridon's further defilement.  The herb gardens are much as they always were.  Karabor tea is very soothing, don't you think?

Mimbzie: Oh, yes.  Very soothing indeed.  It also compliments these yummy scones quite nicely.  I don't mean to pry, but what's up with that Doomwalker at your gates?

: ::chuckling::  Oh, that?  Kil'jaeden's ineffectual metal puppet? ::Laughing maniacally::  With Sargeras out of the way, and Archimonde dead, he fancies himself leader of the Burning Legion! Feels he can order me around, and punish me when I fail to follow through on his demands.  The fool still thinks I work for him!

Mimbzie: I've heard rumors of a recent encounter between you, and the Death Knight, Arthas, which didn't go particularly well for you. What's with that?

Illidan: I battled Arthas on orders from Kil'Jaeden, whom I've already said I am trying to decieve. I do not want any plan of the Legion to move forward, so what am I to do? So, yes, I took Vashj, and that wimp, Kael'thas, and enough forces to make it look as if we could win.  I HAD to lose, however, and lose badly. I could have taken him down easily had I wanted, but I will not do anything if it is to the Legion's benefit. Still, I had to make it look good, so that Kil'Jaeden's spies would report both my failure and the hard-fought battle, so again I had to let Arthas beat the crap out of me.

: You threw the fight on purpose?

Illidan: Yes, and it was really hard for me.

: How so?

Illidan: Arthas hits like a little girl! ::laughs:: Do try the cheese! Had that delivered fresh this morning.

: Is that genuine Alterac Swiss?

Illidan: Amazing, isn't it?

Mimbzie: Indeed. Our audience wants to know: is there a woman in your life?

Illidan: Ages ago, I had a soft spot for Tyrande, but she's my brother's girlfriend, and he and I have long ago set aside any issues between us. And of course there was ten thousand years of Maiev Shadowsong, but that worked out badly. She's turned into such a psycho stalker groupie that I've had to have her locked up! Sheesh! Then there was Vashj. I knew her before The Sundering. The extra arms suit her. She's amazing, and you totally get over that fish smell. Lately, though, I've been spending my free time with Mother Sharhasz, but I'm well aware that she sees me as just the most convenient path to career-advancement. She's still freakin' hawt, though. I guess I've got this thing for extra arms. Telaari grapes?

Mimbzie: Don't mind if I do.  Thank you.    So, Illidan, what's your take on your brother's current situation?

: You mean the whole "trapped inside a portion of the Emerald Dream, which is fast becoming a nightmare" thing?  I'm sworn to keep my nose out of his and Tyrande's business, but since you asked, this has all the marks of a curse, and a very powerful one. It would require morrowgrain, and in very very large quantities. There would need to be someone in a position of great power, able to muster a veritable army of collectors, supply them with seed, direct then to patches of the most fertile soils... It all smells of corruption and conspiracy.  Were I not bound by a solemn oath, and also tied up with my own business here in Outland...  No doubt my brother is aware of the situation, and knows I cannot help. He probably even has his own rationalizations. Telling people how heavily my loss to Arthas weighs upon me, and how I'm insane, brooding, and constantly re-running that battle in my mind, with myself as the victor.  Do i seem insane to you Mimbzie? Would you like more tea?

: Insane? No, not in the least, but yes more tea would be very nice. So, you were saying about your brother...

Illidan: I have a suspect. I'm reluctant to say his name, but his initials are Fandrahl Staghelm. Yes, go ahead and print that. Despite our differences, Malfurion is still my brother, and were I not bound by oath and circumstance, I would right this instant summon my army to assault Darnassus, slaying all before me until at last that arrogant Staghelm lay at my feet in a pool of his own blood! Chocolates?

Mimbzie: Yes, thank you. So, since the wholesale slaughter of your own people, and the assasination of one of their leaders is not on your adgenda, what *are* your plans?

Illidan: At the moment, I'm pretty heavily invested in biotech. My researchers have developed a way to enhance both the strength and aggressiveness of orcs, using the blood of pit lords! We plan to offer the product to the general public, just as soon as we've taken full advantage of it ourselves, of course.

Mimbzie: Does the general public really want a stronger, more aggressive orc?

Illidan: They do if they're orcs! Look, Mimbzie, life is about power. People want it. They don't want to work for it. That takes too long. No, what people want is INSTANT power! I have the means to give it to them. I'm not even asking that much in return. Just offer up a little unquestioning obedience, and allow me to subject you to soul-devouring fel energies, and all the power you'll ever desire is yours. Plus, I'm offering union wages, and a full benefit plan.  Can the Legion match that? No, because they aren't hiring mortals! I'm an equal opportunity destroyer... Errr... Sorry... Equal opportunity EMPLOYER!

Mimbzie: This conversation has been most informative, Illidan. And you do serve a wonderful tea.

Illidan: Why thank you, Mimbzie. We'll have to do this again sometime. I...

(at this moment we were interrupted by a servant announcing the early arrival of Illidan's "raid group" (whatever that means), and our intrepid reporter was quietly hustled out a side exit)